Wine Not Me

Ciao!!!!!! Please watch this clip for reference... https://www.instagram.com/p/CIBFbyZng7J/

So the other day I had an opportunity to do an interview on The Pink Pill YouTube Channel and I've noticed that since then, I've felt some discord in my spirit. I think the words that were coming out of my mouth were hard to digest because it was the first time I said them not as a mantra to live up to, but as a reality! In a nutshell I told viewers to follow their dreams, be fearless and don't undersell the gifts you have to share with the world because you can truly do anything you want. I believe it to be true but it's still surreal to think of how far my mentality has come. The old me would have been too scared to not have a steady paycheck to ever move abroad to study! Growth feels uneasy at times and I'm having more uneasy moments. I now, have to be a woman of my word!! I said what I said!!

I wake up in Italy everyday, 8 hours ahead of my friends and family and detached from distractions so it gives me lots of time to reflect. I find my self thinking, "other people make this type of move all the time, so why not me? Why not a black girl from North Carolina to move to Florence to study the white male dominated industry of wine? My mantra has changed from, "be fearless", because clearly, I am! Now, it's Wine, not me?? ( a play on words to remind myself that, although wine ain't easy I got this!!)

I'm lucky to have support of family. After sharing my outlandish plan of pursuing a career in Italian wine with my family, I knew it would require strong convictions. Everyone doesn't have the type of support that I got, but it shouldn't stop you from progressing. I had lot's of questions to answer from all my loved ones but I thoroughly researched the answers ahead of time, just anticipating other people's rejection of my leap of faith. My mom was the fist person that I told and she basically pushed me out the door that day, she was so happy that this opportunity was created just for me at a time where I needed to confidently leave home even during a pandemic. My mom made me think "Wine not me?" She knew it was already destined that I would go, and gave me the confidence to tell my Dad. Dad wasn't on board AT ALL and to be honest he still isn't 100% understanding of the move, but he's happy to see me happy again. He sees me growing as a woman and he's proud... confused at times lol, but proud! My friends may not have understood but they know that I'm always full of surprises, so I didn't have to fight them on it. I'm sure there are people in your life who are just like my family. Some will be pushing for your transition and others will push for things to stay the way they've always been.

Here's the thing... when God gives you a new plan it's not for anyone to understand. I realized that as long as I follow Him, it'll work out. The same goes for anyone else who is fighting fears of a major life transition. I'm not special. We're all in the same boat! You may run your ideas by your loved one's, but don't let them put their own insecurities on you. Just think, "why not me?? I promise you can do amazing things outside the norm if you just stop overthinking and go for it. You deserve to be happy, successful, and free. Imagine how the finish line will be once you've reached it, don't imagine how tough the process will be.

I'm not presenting myself as a having a perfect life or arrogantly bragging about my courage. It's tough!!!!! I fight the feeling of comparing my life to others all the time! I crave approval too! I have days that make me question myself and think negative thoughts! I fight those thoughts constantly! There are so many unknowns that it's easy to justify doubt. Each day isn't perfect here in Florence, I'm settling in and there's a citywide lockdown happening right now! Of course I'm scared and I don't speak the language well enough to read a newspaper. I know I'll learn it though, because I'm not the first person to ever do this. Lots of people move and learn a new language, adapt to new cultures and it's just crazy enough to force greatness out of me. Wine not Me? and Why not you too?

(Check out the link for the full Pink Pill interview here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfOvMNbZf8k )