No Negative Vibes

I’m the first to admit that I’m a pessimist. I always have been and I believe it’s an inherited trait from my father. I am more aware of it these days and try to choose my thoughts more deliberately. I thought I was doing a good job, but It’s been brought to my attention by multiple people over the past week that I’m a negative thinker. And the way I internalize that (because i'm such a negative thinker is taking it to the extreme) by thinking I’m an overall negative person. They didn’t use those exact worlds but that’s how it makes me feel, until I check myself and say "self, you know this is exactly what they mean. You've got great qualities, so don't downplay them due to one bad thing and go overboard."

The people who are close to me have told me these things in the past but hearing it around the same time frame from them is striking! I mean, nobody likes a “Debbie Downer” and I certainly don’t want to be this person. Change is hard! Much harder than an optimist even knows! Changing the way your brain generates options, ideas, how it channels fear and worry is a big task. It doesn’t happen overnight and has taken me a few years to even realize when I have negative thoughts because they’re so ordinary to me. Doesn’t everyone think this way? Isn’t everyone consummated with negative thoughts half the day? As it turns out... the answer to that question is no.

One key things that has been helping is having a code word for when I’m being pessimistic. My boyfriend will say the code word and alert me of how I sound. Another thing that’s helping is just being grateful all day. Finding something to give thanks for periodically in the day makes me think about how much worse life could be. That may still sound like a negative thought to some of you but it’s a positive to me! Baby steps! Lol

I may never be a happy go lucky woman in my lifetime and that's okay with me. I just want to be mindful about how I’m attracting the wrong things into my life with negative self talk and the way others perceive me. If everyone is saying me same thing about you then it’s probably true! You can’t change something if you don’t know you’re doing it, so having helpful criticism is certainly hard to hear but is a good thing. What you do with those critiques all up to you.